i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
