The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
