Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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