Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
