I just pynch a tree in the face
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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