I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My dick has a subreddit
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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