also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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