Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
