I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
