Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
