i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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