john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
