i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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