My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
