Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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