I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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