My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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