Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
