I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
MIDGETS
????
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
