he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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