I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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