is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
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I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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