i think i have two assholes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
