Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just gift wrapped bread.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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