Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
