Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
