I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize