morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize