Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
