My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
