I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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