Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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