Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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