sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
