I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
