He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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