It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
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I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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