Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
