Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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