Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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