I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
