so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
