There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize