also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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