Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
