I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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