I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
