Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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