White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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