How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's blow job season.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
