i can't believe i had my finger in that
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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