You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
