I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
