she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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