And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
