Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
