i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
