i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
