How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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