I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
