he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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