You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
