Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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