well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
