There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize