i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
