i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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