ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just pee around me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
