At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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