I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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